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Deputy Pole-Axed by Outraged Octogenarian. Paint Roller as Deadly Weapon?

 

…I’d say only if it killed you.

This story (which is real, to my knowledge) is too good to pass up, and includes some interesting legal issues.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — An 81-year-old retiree was back in court Tuesday facing a felony charge of allegedly assaulting a Kern County deputy.

Louis Montgomery is facing the possibility of three years in prison for hitting a deputy with a paint roller. Last March, Montgomery was in the middle of a dispute with his neighbor over his pig farm. The feud boiled over when he decided to paint a wall facing his neighbor’s property using an assortment of old paint, according to the Kern County Sheriff’s Department. The neighbor then called the authorities to stop Montgomery.

It’s hard not to laugh (for me, impossible). But… this is serious business with three years in the pokey at stake.

Let’s fill in the blanks a little as we go along:

“[D]ispute with his neighbor over his pig farm.” Pigs are notorious for their stink, which isn’t respectful of property lines and often harmful to neighborly relations.

“The feud boiled over when he decided to paint a wall facing his neighbor’s property using an assortment of old paint…” Classic passive-aggressive. I’m feuding with you, so I do something to irritate you that you can’t really do anything about – for example I paint a wall on my land that you have to look at every day some really ugly colors. You’re so irate, you call the cops on me anyway.

This is where it gets really good.

A Kern County sheriff’s deputy who arrived at his home in Northwest Bakersfield told him to stop painting the wall. Montgomery said he explained to the deputy the fence was his to paint.

“He accused me of graffiti on my own fence,” said Montgomery.

The deputy said Montgomery ignored the deputy and continued to paint the wall with a long-handled paint roller.

How can you not side with Montgomery here? Isn’t he in the right? It’s his fence, on his land, and he’s painting it (and don’t call it ugly – beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?). Sure the neighbor doesn’t like it, and it may be intended to aggravate the neighbor. But isn’t this like you painting your house hot pink? Your neighbor can’t call the cops to stop you from painting your house hot pink! It’s only hurting his feelings. Pig stink may be a legitimate private nuisance (or public – it’s been a while since I’ve reviewed nuisance law) but the color of a fence? And anyway private nuisance is a civil action, it’s not something you get police involved in. It is in no way violative of any criminal statute to paint your fence.

The graffiti charge sounds made up to me. Not buying it, no way. There is no indication that Montgomery was painting words (obscenities or slurs) on his fence (after all, he’s using a “long handled paint roller”).

So the Deputy told Montgomery to stop painting his own fence on his own property. Montgomery ignored him. And why shouldn’t he? How can the Deputy’s order possibly be lawful? I seem to remember some variance from state to state on obeying the orders of a law enforcement agent. Failing to do so can be a crime in itself. But I also seem to recall “lawful order” being part of that equation, at least in some states. I’ll have to research that. But — regardless — it offends common sense, the notions of private property and individual liberty, and the Bill of Rights to suggest that Montgomery should have to obey that order.

It was then that the Deputy Sheriff had the bright idea to use force against the 81 year old hardened criminal.

According to Deputy District Attorney Alex Harper, Montgomery hit the deputy over the head with the roller when the deputy tried to wrestle it away. The deputy was covered in paint and required medical attention for the gash in his head. Harper said the deputy received several stitches.

Montgomery said he was also injured in the brawl.

“When I was taken off the wall he busted both my arms, my elbows and a few of my ribs,” Montgomery explained.

He was arrested following the fight and charged with one count of felony assault with a deadly weapon.

Montgomery has pleaded not guilty.

Explain to me what right the Deputy had to walk onto Montgomery’s private property and lay hands on him (to stop him from painting!)? This sounds like a gross abuse of police power to me. No laws were being broken here. This neighborly feud was a civil dispute at best. So file suit already. The police aren’t supposed to take sides in a civil dispute.

Montgomery was having none of it. At a certain age, I can imagine you’re just done taking bull from anyone. Monty cracked the Deputy over the head with the paint roller (in self defense?). Was the Deputy trespassing on Montgomery’s land and assaulting him, all at the behest of an irritated neighbor? That will certainly be for a court to decide in the coming months when Monty sues the department. I’d love to represent the old codger, and I bet plenty of California lawyers will be jumping at the chance to try the criminal and civil suits.

Oh and by the way, I don’t believe anyone’s ever been killed by a paint roller (update: Google says the only time it ever happened, it was a freak accident). So lay off the “deadly weapon” charge, alright? Can’t we find anyone better to “throw the book” at? There’s this thing call prosecutorial discretion…

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